By now you may have heard or read the shocking report of a white male airline passenger striking a black baby across the face for crying during the landing.

“Jonah starts crying because he’s feeling the pressure in his ears,” Jessica Bennett, the toddler’s mother, told ABC News.

The 60-year-old man told Bennett to “shut that (‘N word’) baby up,” and slapped the 2-year-old boy in his face as the plane prepared for landing, according to an affidavit.

“I said, ‘What did you just say?’” Bennett explained to ABC News. “And he was so drunk that he fell onto my face, and his mouth moved over to my ear and he said it, just directly into my ear.”

Obviously the assailant is some unwashed illiterate hillbilly.

Hundley’s attorney told the Associated Press he will plead not guilty. Hundley has been suspended from his position as the president of Unitech Composites and Structures.

Oh, it turns out he’s not a backwards yokel after all. He’s a Very Important Business Leader^TM, and exactly who (so we’re told) should have a disproportionate influence over our government on account of how reasonable, pragmatic, and wise he is.